You can't afford a house, so here's 10% as a pity present


Glad you asked. All of our items are responsibly sourced within the US, which is another reason why our prices are higher than most humor brands.

We guarantee top quality screen printing on our products that will last you for years to come.

We source from manufacturers that provide safe working conditions for their employees, and are striving to be as eco-friendly as possible.

Bonded Threads headquarters is literally our house since we are a family-owned business.

But we work with other small businesses across the country in order to bring you the most amazing product.

Our screen printers and creative directors are located in Arkansas.

Our warehouse and fulfillment center is located in North Carolina. Fun, right?

Each product has a detailed description and specifications in addition to a sizing chart.

Because our brand is gender non-conforming, please make sure that you reading the sizing chart for each item and matching them to your own measurements.

We do provide recommendations for fit and appropriate size, but we can't physically see you or measure you ourselves, so these are just our close estimates.

All orders within the US, ship for free using standard shipping times.

We ask for 5-8 business days from date of order to receive the product. Try not to electric slide into our DMs or email until at least 10 business days after you placed your order.

You can select expedited shipping at checkout, but you will have to pay for that form of shipping. If you need it faster, that's on you big dog. If you can wait a few days, we got you.

We currently only ship to the UK and Canada, internationally. And while we love our allies, we can't pay for that shipping cost (we aren't Amazon, yet). So for now, if you are placing an order in one of those countries, you will pay the entirety of the shipping cost.

Please be mindful that standard and expedited costs are different for both locations.

At this time, we only accept exchanges or returns for store credit. The return or exchange must be initiated within 30 days of the purchase date. Items must be returned in original packaging and definitely cannot look like you wore it or tried to fight crime in it.

If you think you made a mistake with a size or product, please try and send us an email at within 2 hours of placing your order.

Our warehouse tries to fill these orders really fast. So make sure you double check everything before you confirm your purchase.

Remember, US shipping is free, so if you are unsure about an item, you can always place another order later and not have to pay extra for a second package.

There is no such thing, Bonded Threads makes no mistakes.

SIKE! That's clearly a joke. Ok Focus.

If for some awful reason, your order arrives jacked up, please take clear photos of the damage and email them

But listen: if you are reporting a defect more than 30 days after you ordered the product, we won't be able to correct the order. So when you get your swag, open that bag, and make sure everything is A ok.